The Shaming of the Shrew

Today marks the beginning of Lent, and for us Anglican/Episcopalian types, it begins a season of self-examination, discipline, and a sort of (sombre-ish) spiritual productivity. I'm always afraid that blogging will speed my descent into a self-focused, self-indulgent spiral of slog, but I'll try to bring the knitting in quickly.

For the past year or so, I've been talking to The Kid like this:

"grumble grumble. snark, snark...snarl, occasional SHRIEK!!!"
wash. rinse. repeat.

To paraphrase Dirk Calloway, I want it to stop. I used to be a much more serene sort of person. Over the past months, I've become frustrated with "not getting things done", not being able to figure out how to get back on the writing track, wondering why I'm so tired at the end of the day, blah blah blah. I believe that can change, and until it does, there's really no need to take it out on him, because he is one of the sweetest, most wonderful men around. So for Lent I'm re-reading The Quotidian Mysteries, hoping that I'll be reminded to infuse that contemplative spirit back into my daily life, no matter what the days bring. (And maybe do a better job on the housework front.) Some friends will also join me in a Lenten study, I'm thinking it can also help me be a little less attitudinal, a little more Beatitudinal.
My knitting. I've realized that my "gift knitting" has become less "What would you like?" and more "What I would like to make for you because I want to try this technique/try this yarn/work this pattern." I'm going to work on my sister's prayer shawl. I've been promising it for months. I've gotten the yarn for it three times (a variegated wool boucle, a mohair blend, Rowan Biggy Print). Problem is, she told me what she wanted in the beginning (I'd done the shawl before for our grandmother in the Lion Brand Homespun the pattern calls for, and that's what she said she wanted.) But I *hated* knitting with the Homespun, so I'd been trying to talk her into something else. Not exactly in the prayer shawl spirit. I've really got to get over myself. So, I'll Give The Sister What She Wants, get the Homespun and knit contemplatively. And cheerfully. The gorgeous, gorgeous Biggy Print that I got from Froggy's stash can become a capey/hooded poncho thing for Cocoa Pebbles (I can still impose my knitwill on her with a clear conscience, for a few more days, at least.) Her flower dress? Should be ready in time for Easter.

Random Blather:
My friend Sarah Littman's book has been published! Barnes and Noble description: "To be more like her best friend, eleven-year-old Justine decides to give up Judaism to become Catholic, but after her beloved, religious grandmother dies, she realizes that she needs to seek her own way of being Jewish." I laughed, I cried, I haven't actually read the whole thing, but the parts I heard in workshop were wonderful and Sarah's a great woman and great writer.

A cute Web site: I Used To Believe. I'm thinking of putting in how I used to think that because my dad worked for the World Bank, that meant that people lined up at teller windows in the traditional dress of their respective countries, and managed their "country bank accounts". And maybe also how I used to believe that taking Baton Twirling at Music Camp made me much cooler than just a regular Music Camp sort of person.

Cocoa Pebbles and I have been a bit under the weather this week. Lots of hanging out at home, so I filled a little basin with water and put some floaty toys inside. But she had a better idea:

Comments

[Elizabeth]

I loved your description of how you thought the World bank worked as a kid....my husband works there now and he also enjoyed the image. Also, thanks for the website link..it is really cute reading.

[Lolly]

Hey! Your little one is so cute--I am with Cara, I love this AB/CD shirt :)

[Else]

Kids always find a better (read messier) way to do things, don't they? I guess that you have to love them for it, or else you would be angry every second of the day. There is nothing that I hate more than being angry at my babies for being kids. I just might go give them a bucket of water right now!

[Anne-Caroline]

Love the photo of Cocoa Pebbles! I think you will have a great time knitting the prayer shawl, knowing it's exactly what your sis wanted! Happy knitting!

[cari]

Does that AB CD shirt come in my size? Because I HAVE to have one!

[Lorette]

Heh, snarkiness to one's mate is not just child-related. I am child-free and could be considered the Queen of Snark at times. I think for me it's mostly pushing the envelope to see how much I can get away with. My spouse told me a long time ago that it's not acceptable behavior, and I've improved, really I have. Seriously though, I think it's fatigue that leads to it, so be nice to yourself, as much as possible with a toddler...

[Laura]

I love the bit about imposing your knitwill. I do that, too, but I had never thought of such an inspired way to say it.

The Kathleen Norris book looks interesting. I have read The Cloister Walk, but had never heard of The Quotidian Mysteries. Thanks for the recommendation!

[Nanette]

I really didn't think you could get a cuter photo of Cocoa Pebbles than the snow shots but you did. She's adorable!

Now I have to go check out your Peter Schickele link to find out why NM public radio no longer carries his wonderful show. :(

[Kimberli]

I think it's wonderful that you can utilize this time of Lent to refocus and look inwards. Myself, being what my assistant calls "One of the two heathens in the office", I find that refreshing. It does my heart well to see your religion being a tool to further promote inner growth and reflection since that is not the face of religion that I am presented with most often. Not to jump into a whole religious discussion...sorry - your entry just touched me. We all draw our strength from different things...that's often what makes us so unique and interesting! :-)

As for being snarky --- I think it gets worse on the days where we see less sun! I've been a little bit more snarky since I returned last week... NEED THE SUN! I can't picture you being THAT SNARKY! Nope, just can't picture it!

Finally - I too LOVE LOVE LOVE the shirt -- where'd you find such a wonderful little tee?

Hope you are both feeling better VERY VERY SOON!

[Annie]

I came here from Cara's site, and I'm so glad I did. I can so relate to your feelings & I'm in the exact same mindset as you. I'm very intrigued by the book you linked to & I definitely will be ordering it. Thanks! :)

[Julia]

You aren't alone, grrl! I've been snarking and snarling and grunting in Moxie's direction for about 7 years now - and he gives as good as he gets! Part of it is just love - when you are comfortable with someone the polite factor goes down. It's important to re-evaluate our treatment of others and remind ourselves that the ones we love are the people who most deserve our politeness and respect. Today, the two of us actually took a sick day from work to do just that - it has it's rewards! Hang in there - I feel sure you'll be able to honor this lenten resolution at least until you have to do it all over again next year! xox, Your sister of the Snark

[Margene]

Having a child changes your life in everyway. I heard Will Smith on Oprah say that you have to 'rebirth' yourself with every life change. Of course you are tired running after that cute one all day (and changing her clothes frequently) LOL She is a doll. We often forget to refill our spirits by giving to ourselves. You can only give to others in your life if you have filled up your own spirit. Take some time to do something for youself (maybe a night away with The Kid). Or make yourself a prayer shawl first and then gift your sister. Be well.

[Colleen]

First: I would have absolute thought the same thing about the World Bank as a kid. In fact, at 29 (will be 30 in 9 days, TYVM) I'm not too sure how it works.

The flower dress will be done for Easter?!? You must post in progress pictures AND many shots with the oh-so-cute Cocoa Pebbles wearing said dress :-).

[valentina]

OH, I almost split a rib there. She looks so very serious about what she's doing, too.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You know why you're exhausted, and the Kid is the first grown up you can "complain" to. Which of course doesn't mean he's free game, but you gotta let it out sometime. It's good to refocus, though.

I hear you about the Homespun ... Hope you're feeling better soon!

[Julie]

Kids seldom think inside the box ;) I think you are on the right track with refocusing your knitting. Each type of project has it's place. Your sister will love her shawl.

[Becky]

I'm with you on the self-examination! Lent began over here (I'm Catholic) and I always take this time to reflect, separate myself from a few things and try to make amends wherever I can. My son is always home during this time for vacation so I also try to make good quality time with him, too.

[Cara]

First off, I LOVE THAT SHIRT! AB/CD! That's great! Where did you get it? I need one for my niece.

I know what you mean about being snarky to the mate - have considered that maybe it's because of the baby? Not that the baby is causing you to be snarky, but causing you to be exhausted, which in turn is causing you to be snarky? I hope you find the peace you're looking for - I rather have peace of mind over happiness any day.

Sorry you guys are under the weather - hope you feel better soon!